


Darkness

by ladylovinloser



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Family Fluff, Suicide Attempt, Triggers, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-09 10:20:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11667153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladylovinloser/pseuds/ladylovinloser
Summary: "Kara had days where she could not feel the Sun on her skin."Takes place after Kara arrived on Earth and her discovery that Kryptonians are made of much stronger material.(Trigger Warnings for Depression, Anxiety, and Suicide Attempts)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine. I do not own anything Supergirl, except merch.

Kara had days where she could not feel the Sun on her skin. 

The warm embrace of the yellow Sun would abandon her, and leave her drained. The hopelessness she felt long ago on her last day on Krypton would return to her, making her feel, human. 

Kryptonians, were known for their perfection, their ability to make the correct decisions, to be true and fair despite all opposition. 

It’s what made them who they are.

Were.

A shiver runs through Kara’s body at that admission. 

Were.

Was.

Knew.

Loved.

Left.

Burned.

Gone.

These are all words that she now used to describe her family. The transition from present tense to past tense is what made Kara come to terms with her planets destruction. 

Though, some days, Kara would pretend. 

Pretend she was just on another visit to another world. That one day she would return. Her father would retrieve her and ask her about her trip to Earth. And she would say, “I missed you. Please, don’t leave me again.” And he would laugh and embrace her and tell her, “We will never leave you Kara. Not even after Rao calls us home.” 

But that will never happen. 

Not now. 

Not ever.

They left and not even Rao’s light can reach her. 

Some days Kara would pretend.

She had to pretend because somedays the reality of her situation would catch up to her and her breathe would leave her body and her thoughts would become corrupted and break apart like the planet she once loved.

Her mother said that Earth would make her strong.

Now that she's here.

She just feels weak.

Though, in times of weakness on Krypton, brother leaned on brother and sister comforted sister. 

But her “sister” does not comfort. 

Her cousin does not care. 

And she is truly alone in this alien world.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supergirl, it would be really angsty if I did. All mistakes are mine!

Kara blankly stares at her desk. Her peers mill around her, talking and laughing. Everything Kara finds herself unable to do recently. One girl by the name of Clarissa MarCarty, bumps into her. Kara doesn’t even have the energy to move with the blow. To keep the illusion of humanity.

This lack of action seems to injure Clarissa as she turns towards her and shoots her a particularly nasty look. 

That seems to be a common theme with humanity. Ugly expressions that is. She has seen more “dirty looks,” as Alexandra calls them, here on Earth in one month, than her entire life on Krypton. 

Kara has seen so many scathing looks, that now when she looks in the mirror, she gives herself a glare. 

Earth is full of change and she herself has changed seasons, from summer to winter.

* * *

Kara walks next to Alexandra on their way back to the Danver’s residence. She has learned the way, but yet, Eliza has insisted on Alexandra accompanying her. She does not seem happy about this arrangement and every few seconds she gives a heavy huff.

Kara doesn’t blame her, she wouldn’t want to accompany her either.

Today her backpack is full. Full of books on a particular subject that must be taboo here as the librarian gave her a concerned glance. She over heard a group of teens today. Ones that dress in dark colors and never smile. The act of one taking their own life.

Such a thing did not happen on Krypton. That was a waste so great she was sure no sensible Kryptonian would commit such an act. Every Kryptonian had their roll, their own place in the ancient and noble society. 

Luckily, Kara is now a human.

The backpack on her shoulders has a weight she has never felt before on this Earth. Perhaps, it’s the weight of the actions to come.

* * *

As to be expected, Alexandra abandons her as soon as they cross the threshold into the Danver’s residence. 

Kara does not mind today, instead she heads up stairs to begin her research. 

She reads of many different methods to reach the same result, and more than anything does Kara want to reunite with her parents in Rao’s light. 

There is no point in her staying on this Earth. Kal has grown without her, the Danvers have been given a great burden with her, and she cannot help those who are hurting without putting them in danger. She has no role and no purpose. Her parents will understand in the end.

Kara decides it would be in proper manner to leave a note like the book detailed. She will write to Kal and to the Danvers as a collective. It is only rational to explain her reasoning.

Superspeed allows her pen the letters with haste and grab the necessary equipment to end her life. If one method works on humans, she would need to try three or more to achieve the same result.

Kara speeds through the house, grabbing a knife, the pills contained in the house (which are a sizable amount due to Eliza’s tendency to be prepared), and the gun contained in the locked safe in Jeremiah’s closet.

All of the supplies are placed in the upstairs facilities that she and Alexandra share.

She begins to fill the “tub” and makes her preparations and quickly packs up her meager belongings, cleansing the room she was provided. 

The letters are placed on the kitchen island for the Danvers to open and one note is placed on the front of both letters. Another note is placed on the facility door.

The note next to the letters gives the prayer for the dead for them to say over her when they send her to Rao. The note on the door simply says, 

_“Do not open. Call Kal-El.”_

With everything in place, Kara looks back at her room and then to Alexandra’s closed door and she says a silent goodbye.

The facility door closing behind her makes a fitting noise. It reminds her of what Krypton must have sounded like in it’s last moments.

* * *

It was a long day for Eliza. She awoke in the early morning with a pit in her stomach and through out the entire day, she couldn’t seem to shake it. 

Her work day ended earlier than planned, so the extra time was used for shopping. One thing Clark had told them about Kara was her appetite, and boy was he right. 

Kara ate out the reserves of the house in days. Cans of food they had stocked piled through-out the years, gone in just weeks. Poor Kara was wracked with guilt each time she took a bite, but the young girl couldn’t help herself.

Eliza made sure she had gotten extra food this week as a treat.

Kara was currently half way through her first week of school and by the looks of it. It was not going well. 

Eliza was not an idiot and she could see the signs of a child who has been left behind by their peers. Kara was the perfect candidate of bullying and she and Jeremiah knew it.

The poor girl had a long few years ahead of her, but her new family would be with her every step of the way.

Eliza pulled into her familiar parking spot in the driveway. A long sigh escaped her mouth. 

Hopefully, the girls will help carry in the bags. 

That was one thing Eliza loved about Kara in particular. The girl had a natural tendency to want to help.

75% of the time that ended in something breaking, but the look of joy Kara had afterwards was worth the few dollars it took to replace what she had broke.

“Girls, I’m home! Come grab a bag!” Eliza called towards the house as she picks up the bags full of the food needing to be refrigerated right way.

“Girls? Alex! Kara?!” With a heavy sigh Eliza walks into the house. 

She begins the long process of unpacking groceries by herself. The sound of the tub filling echoes through the house. 

_It’s a bit too early for that isn’t it?_

_Teenagers, I swear._

Eliza rolls her eyes and heads back out to the car again for more bags. 

This time when she places them on the counter she notices the envelopes, the note is now stuck to the side of the bag and Eliza recognizes the familiar scrawl of the young Kryptonian.

The word _dead_ catches her eye immediately, the words that accompany it makes her blood run cold. 

“Kara! Sweetie! Are you here?” No response is given and Eliza begins to panic. She leaves the bags on the table and heads towards the staircase. 

She makes it to the second floor and walks towards Kara’s room. The panic she felt reading the note shoots into her throat and drops painfully in her stomach. She feels the blood drain from her face, leaving her pale and terrified. 

The room is completely empty. It looks like it did before Kara had moved in. She looks for anything that might tell her where her adopted daughter went but the room is spotless.

Eliza backs out of the room and searches for her phone in her pockets. Her husband remains as #1 on speed dial, making the call easy to dial. As her phone rings she nearly sprints to Alex’s room. She knocks franticly and jiggles the door knob. 

“Oh my god, Mom. Give me a second.” Alex opens the door, annoyed. “What?”

“Did Kara come home with you today? Where is she?” Eliza hears her phone go to voicemail and hangs up. “Come on Jeremiah.” She dials his number again.

Alex looks confused and worried at her mom’s actions. “Of course she came home with me. Is she not here or something?”

Eliza looks at Alex, “Her room is completely empty and she left a note and two letters. Now what does that add up too?” Alex’s face shows her process of thought before she too has gained an element of terror in her gaze.

“Have you checked downstairs? The bathroom?” Eliza moves aside at Alex’s persistence. Her daughter speed walks to the room across the hall. She reads the note on the door and attempts to turn the knob, but it is locked. “Kara, you in there.” Alex frowns at the lack of response but she turns her head to listen in anyways. “Mom she's here. I can hear her crying and there's another note on the door.”

Eliza joins her daughter at the door and knocks similarly to the way she did on Alex’s door. “Honey, are you in here.” She mimics her daughters pose and hears the faint sound of muffled sobbing.

On the other side of the door, pill bottles lay empty next to Kara on the bathroom floor and the knife she used is now a crumpled mass of steel.  
She holds her last salvation in her hands. The gun.

She has made sure it is loaded, the safety is off and it is currently nestled safely under her chin. Her finger is on the trigger but she hasn’t had the courage to pull it back.

The Danvers wait on the other side of the door, pleading for her to let them in. 

Kara cries, wanting to see her parents, but too afraid to find out whether or not the gun will work.

After this, there is no going back.

She takes a deep breath in and steadies her nerves. Her eyes close and she sees her mothers face. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Kara pulls the trigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey All,
> 
> Sorry this chapter took so long to upload! It took longer than I expected. Let me know if you like it and if you want the next chapter. Multiple people pointed out to me that this story is tagged as Kara/Alex and that is intentional. This is going to be unrequited, Kara might develop a crush on Alex after seeing how smart and kind she is compared to almost every other human.
> 
> Love you!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you guys like this and want me to continue. (Sorry this is so dark!)
> 
> I know there is not much there, but the second chapter will be up soon.
> 
> Love you guys!!


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